I have had a beautiful table lamp for about 4 years now. I see it everyday and I love looking at it. Everyone visiting my house always admires it. Some of them used to say that the shade was not doing the lamp justice, and that I should choose a different one. I thought about that too, but I just couldn’t figure out what type of shade would look better. Years went by I kept wondering what kind of shade would improve the lamp and my guests kept on volunteering their help. Until one day a new visitor commented on the shade, she didn’t say anything much different than all the others before her, but suddenly I just saw what was wrong. We were both surprised to see what the problem was. I had put the shade-supporting metal thingy the wrong way round. I had expected that it needed to point upwards and just put it so. It worked, the lamp stayed together. The only thing was that everyone felt that something was off, while no one could quite put a finger on what it was.
The genius of a lamp applies to our lives too; a little bit of force used to install a lampshade or a self-image to fulfil an expectation doesn’t cause direct discomfort. We feel fine; we play the role, and act as we expect to be expected to act. This small but constant pressure we use against our core selves slowly nags at us. The pressure of the wrong installation of the lampshade made a small hole and several marks on the fabric. Similarly the force I have used on myself trying to be someone else has nagged away on my self-confidence. I could feel something was off and so could others, but no one could put a finger on what it was.
We will not see what is wrong until we are ready to see it. Then it is suddenly very clear, and we realize that we knew the answer all along.
For a long time I felt pressured to start writing a blog, because as a coach you are expected to write one. I just couldn’t bring myself to do that, it just felt wrong. Then last week I read some business advise stating that it is completely unnecessary to write blog posts. I believed the reasoning of that advice, and now I find myself writing my very first blog post. It is interesting to find that the core-me is totally force averse. I just love to feel that I have choices and WE ALWAYS DO!
PS. I don’t expect to start blogging regularly; there will be no force in this process. I will only write when I feel like it and have something worthwhile to say.